All about how and why I left Facebook for good
So excited to have finally pulled the plug on my 6 year old Facebook account! For those of you sane people who don't use Facebook very much anyway, it may not seem like that big of a deal. But for me - trust me, it was a big deal.
My reasons for leaving were a combination of general, and personal :
There's a great quote about the internet : "If the service is free, then you are the product, not the consumer". I now pay $15/mo for this Squarespace website (which is easier to use than Facebook), and to be honest, it is so worth every penny to not feel that I am a free worker for the corporate pirates of the information age.
I have been thinking a lot about the deeper intrinsic flaws of using Facebook :
Here are some teachings that came through in my recent silent retreat about this issue
But, even a while after receiving this download, I started having increased awareness about what a dangerous tool this is for me. I made a HUGE mistake, and made something way more public than it should have been, which was actually intensely personal... that was a big trigger for me. And it made me think a lot about the compatibility between Facebook and me.
Honestly, I can hardly keep myself from talking too much when I'm sitting right next to a friend, let alone when there are 700 invisible, possible, abstract friends who might or might not see my post. I just don't have the psychology to be able to respect the potential danger of this tool, and I don't have the ability to hold back from posting very openly with it. That openness is beautiful... in private and in personal emails with my loved ones. And so... my decision was made.
The tech on how to do it really well
Here is an article I recently wrote, outlining my advice, based on experience and great care, on what is the best ways to get your info out of Facebook and migrate yourself to something better.
Alternatives do exist - we can make a people's Facebook
In the article that I just linked to, it also talks about my vision of a de-centralized, people and prefference driven new social networking paradigm. It's actually not that new, it's kinda how we all used to do it until someone convinced us that we really needed help from these unethical free services who sell your information. Anyway, just a thought!
I can really understand anyone's reasons for sticking with Facebook, but I thank you for considering my reasons for leaving.
Blessings! May we stay in touch!
13 Comments
Reader Comments (13)
keep in touch...good luck leaving facebook and stylish way to depart ;)
nice one Sister
full power to u!
showing the way for us all
dont think im there yet
but this is bold and liberating
Love to u
blessings and shimmering ripples
XXX
Thanks for being so bold and beautiful and I commend you for taking this step.......
Perhaps I will feel comfortable enough cutting the cord some day....just not there yet.
Thanks for being a role model....
Much love, light and bliss...
~keri~
Hugs on your new journey...
Cool stuff Lunaya, congrats on that move, I dont think I could do it!!! Haha. Addicted to crackbook, but it helps with business tons, so not so unhealthy.
If ya wanna follow my personal blog, Im at http://chrisdyerspositivecreations.blogspot.com/ . It's more business mode, but still somewhat interesting...
All the best! Chris
If you were on facebook I would 'Like' this lol ;). Way to go...
Lucas
You've given me a lot to think about... Like the others who've commented, I'm stuck in that grey zone of hating Facebook but using it anyway for the power & simplicity of connecting. I wish we could go back to the old Pre-Facebook days of the internet and emails! But, for now, I'm hoping Diaspora might offer an alternative. I definitely want out of Facebook, and I congratulate you on your foresight, courage & intelligence... Love ya!
Laurence, thank you for your comment ~ I would have to agree that it looks like Diaspora might offer some kind of an alternative.
It does seem like any of us can forge the new path, but we all depend on each other. I do miss being able to easily read all my friends' content all in one place.
However, I am happy to report that after just under a week of Facebook freedom - I am REALLY enjoying it!!! I have been subscribing to people's blog RSS feeds, and it is much better than Facebook for content quality.
I miss those casual chats and conversations though, so I'm replacing it with going out to parties more often. Ever notice how the conversations on status updates is like a party? Anyone can walk up to the conversation, at any point, and join in - it's completely casual and open, like mingling with a big group of friends.
So, I'm marking the events on my calendar and making sure I get out more :) And speaking of... tongiht should be good! So hope to meet you in person one day Laurence, and thank you so much to all who commented here!!!
hi lunaya,
inspiring,
I had some pretty deep thoughts about quitting Facebook in meditation too... but still on there for some reason.
thanks for sharing!
Great post, thank you! I've been considering leaving Facebook for a long time but haven't quite been able to do it yet. I find very little 2 way conversation going on over there and am entirely smitten with other social networks (path, instagram, pinterest). I also love Squarespace! So simple and lovely. Let's start a non-Facebook revolution!!
Thank you for honoring the steps it takes to move along a path and having the foresight to express that you see a new direction on the horizon.
Facebook was a step along the way. We all benefited yet we are all becoming increasingly aware that it does not suit our purposes too much anymore.
Through our innate attraction to extremes, we are learning this lesson in the same way we've learned many others. Through excess we put balance into perspective.
The beauty is that whether or not people will leave fbk, it is this realization that ushers the change. The realization we are all having as we accept we have to let go of the old trusty car/laptop/stereo/phone/social network etc. It surely comes with a good dose of nostalgia and even renewed attachment, but deep inside we are well aware that what replaces it will actually be great. Even if we frown and fidget in the beginning at the thought of the new and slightly uncomfortable tool, we secretly marvel at its attributes even prior to using it...
And here is an even more beautiful consequence: as we embraced facebook we saw its benefits and yet we began to realize that a social network created on this consumer/product structure will not and cannot work. It does not truly represent us.
Because our true desire is simply to connect and share, be that our business or our art or our art business...
We do not want to be sold, bought, counted, statiscs'fied, watched, censored and manipulated. Yet we voluntarily put our faces in the book...
But we're all grown up now. And granted there is jadedness in maturity, but there is also wisdom.
So here we are, coming out of our "facebook gestation" period, armed with new knowledge, experience, insight, tools and feedback that we can now finally start using and start building this stuff OUR WAY.
So I want to take the time at this major crossroad in social media history to say:
Thank you facebook for carrying us to this point !
Thank you everybody that supported fbk to transform into what it is!
Thank you Mark Zuckerberg (and I did have to google your name, cause my brain didn't archive that info)
thank you for selling out and selling us to the highest bidder and the toughest bully! You made us realize what it is that we don't want.
Thank you meaningless spam and content postings for teaching us how to filter our internet experience.
Thank you enforced filters for teaching us how to have a free internet experience.
Thank you to all the fbk junkies, abusers, gross marketers, stalkers, friend adding fiends, status quo obsessives, VIP chase'ers, "I will make my most personal problems public talk for my fbk tribe" drama queens, my life is great" illusion creators, hardcore conspiracy cooks, relentless petition activists, relentless quote'ers, New Age freaks, "I wanna tell you what I do every moment" post'ers, compulsive like'ers, compulsive hate'ers, attention whores and all the wonderful nemesis' that we all have become at times but that we all love to hate.
Thank you ALL for making this whole facebook period of our history such a truly enjoyable ride through human nature and consciousness!
I for one, gladly joined in and participate still, as this is by far the most incredible exercise in collective cyber living we have ever performed as a race.
But here's the catch. History shows. Be part of the period, identify with the period if you will but;
Use the process. Analyze the process. Question the process. Discard the process. Reinvent the process and you are truly creating history not merely being the stats and specs for it's generic summaries.
That said, I am truly and excitedly looking forward to the reinvention on social media, "by the people, for the people" as good ol' Abbie was proposing. (pun intended)
Meanwhile I will Post and Like and Comment and Share in fbk and outside until we all figure our where this whole thing is going to. Cause heck, this is waaaay to much fun and waaaay to educational not be fully part of.
So I'm merely contemplating that maybe it's time to stop acting like junkies that want to hide their addiction, or like righteous conservatives that harshly judge those junkies.
Maybe it's time to take a broader look at a cultural reality that represents all of us, junkies, judges and the impartial. A reality in which facebook was essential, superfluous, positive, damaging, creative, dumb'ing, organized, chaotic, inspirational, disgusting and absolutely inevitable.
And seen as an inevitable cultural expression of the whole globe, what purpose is there in either aggressively blaming it, blindly defending it or ostentatiously ignoring it?
How about we see it for what it is? How about we asses the advantages of its existence as a medium, draw an informed conclusion of its shortcomings and proceed in upgrading, adapting and why not replacing it according to our present needs?
After all Zuckerberg was a geek that invented a genius way to pick up girls... not even 10 years later politicians give Likes to Anonymous messages and Bjork gets 10.000 comments on a post that she "has the flu"...
What if the new reason for the new media we the people create, could be a little more broad than "broads"? (no pun intended for Zuckerberg's lady targets)
I mean, just saying, what if the world's incredible community if Internet creators draws its creative sword and delivers us all from the battle field of social network compromise?
And if any of you out there are already on the mission, first of all THANK YOU and do please let us know how we can help, cause heck, we sure have learned we can do more than press Like and Attend....
Meanwhile, you bet I'm posting this on fbk...
see you at Home ;)
Thank you for honoring the steps it takes to move along a path and having the foresight to express that you see a new direction on the horizon.
Facebook was a step along the way. We all benefited yet we are all becoming increasingly aware that it does not suit our purposes too much anymore.
Through our innate attraction to extremes, we are learning this lesson in the same way we've learned many others. Through excess we put balance into perspective.
The beauty is that whether or not people will leave fbk, it is this realization that ushers the change. The realization we are all having as we accept we have to let go of the old trusty car/laptop/stereo/phone/social network etc. It surely comes with a good dose of nostalgia and even renewed attachment, but deep inside we are well aware that what replaces it will actually be great. Even if we frown and fidget in the beginning at the thought of the new and slightly uncomfortable tool, we secretly marvel at its attributes even prior to using it...
And here is an even more beautiful consequence: as we embraced facebook we saw its benefits and yet we began to realize that a social network created on this consumer/product structure will not and cannot work. It does not truly represent us.
Because our true desire is simply to connect and share, be that our business or our art or our art business...
We do not want to be sold, bought, counted, statiscs'fied, watched, censored and manipulated. Yet we voluntarily put our faces in the book...
But we're all grown up now. And granted there is jadedness in maturity, but there is also wisdom.
So here we are, coming out of our "facebook gestation" period, armed with new knowledge, experience, insight, tools and feedback that we can now finally start using and start building this stuff OUR WAY.
So I want to take the time at this major crossroad in social media history to say:
Thank you facebook for carrying us to this point !
Thank you everybody that supported fbk to transform into what it is!
Thank you Mark Zuckerberg (and I did have to google your name, cause my brain didn't archive that info)
thank you for selling out and selling us to the highest bidder and the toughest bully! You made us realize what it is that we don't want.
Thank you meaningless spam and content postings for teaching us how to filter our internet experience.
Thank you enforced filters for teaching us how to have a free internet experience.
Thank you to all the fbk junkies, abusers, gross marketers, stalkers, friend adding fiends, status quo obsessives, VIP chase'ers, "I will make my most personal problems public talk for my fbk tribe" drama queens, my life is great" illusion creators, hardcore conspiracy cooks, relentless petition activists, relentless quote'ers, New Age freaks, "I wanna tell you what I do every moment" post'ers, compulsive like'ers, compulsive hate'ers, attention whores and all the wonderful nemesis' that we all have become at times but that we all love to hate.
Thank you ALL for making this whole facebook period of our history such a truly enjoyable ride through human nature and consciousness!
I for one, gladly joined in and participate still, as this is by far the most incredible exercise in collective cyber living we have ever performed as a race.
But here's the catch. History shows. Be part of the period, identify with the period if you will but;
Use the process. Analyze the process. Question the process. Discard the process. Reinvent the process and you are truly creating history not merely being the stats and specs for it's generic summaries.
That said, I am truly and excitedly looking forward to the reinvention on social media, "by the people, for the people" as good ol' Abbie was proposing. (pun intended)
Meanwhile I will Post and Like and Comment and Share in fbk and outside until we all figure our where this whole thing is going to. Cause heck, this is waaaay to much fun and waaaay to educational not be fully part of.
So I'm merely contemplating that maybe it's time to stop acting like junkies that want to hide their addiction, or like righteous conservatives that harshly judge those junkies.
Maybe it's time to take a broader look at a cultural reality that represents all of us, junkies, judges and the impartial. A reality in which facebook was essential, superfluous, positive, damaging, creative, dumb'ing, organized, chaotic, inspirational, disgusting and absolutely inevitable.
And seen as an inevitable cultural expression of the whole globe, what purpose is there in either aggressively blaming it, blindly defending it or ostentatiously ignoring it?
How about we see it for what it is? How about we asses the advantages of its existence as a medium, draw an informed conclusion of its shortcomings and proceed in upgrading, adapting and why not replacing it according to our present needs?
After all Zuckerberg was a geek that invented a genius way to pick up girls... not even 10 years later politicians give Likes to Anonymous messages and Bjork gets 10.000 comments on a post that she "has the flu"...
What if the new reason for the new media we the people create, could be a little more broad than "broads"? (no pun intended for Zuckerberg's lady targets)
I mean, just saying, what if the world's incredible community if Internet creators draws its creative sword and delivers us all from the battle field of social network compromise?
And if any of you out there are already on the mission, first of all THANK YOU and do please let us know how we can help, cause heck, we sure have learned we can do more than press Like and Attend....
Meanwhile, you bet I'm posting this on fbk...
see you at Home ;)
Thank you for honoring the steps it takes to move along a path and having the foresight to express that you see a new direction on the horizon.
Facebook was a step along the way. We all benefited yet we are all becoming increasingly aware that it does not suit our purposes too much anymore.
Through our innate attraction to extremes, we are learning this lesson in the same way we've learned many others. Through excess we put balance into perspective.
The beauty is that whether or not people will leave fbk, it is this realization that ushers the change. The realization we are all having as we accept we have to let go of the old trusty car/laptop/stereo/phone/social network etc. It surely comes with a good dose of nostalgia and even renewed attachment, but deep inside we are well aware that what replaces it will actually be great. Even if we frown and fidget in the beginning at the thought of the new and slightly uncomfortable tool, we secretly marvel at its attributes even prior to using it...
And here is an even more beautiful consequence: as we embraced facebook we saw its benefits and yet we began to realize that a social network created on this consumer/product structure will not and cannot work. It does not truly represent us.
Because our true desire is simply to connect and share, be that our business or our art or our art business...
We do not want to be sold, bought, counted, statiscs'fied, watched, censored and manipulated. Yet we voluntarily put our faces in the book...
But we're all grown up now. And granted there is jadedness in maturity, but there is also wisdom.
So here we are, coming out of our "facebook gestation" period, armed with new knowledge, experience, insight, tools and feedback that we can now finally start using and start building this stuff OUR WAY.
So I want to take the time at this major crossroad in social media history to say:
Thank you facebook for carrying us to this point !
Thank you everybody that supported fbk to transform into what it is!
Thank you Mark Zuckerberg (and I did have to google your name, cause my brain didn't archive that info)
thank you for selling out and selling us to the highest bidder and the toughest bully! You made us realize what it is that we don't want.
Thank you meaningless spam and content postings for teaching us how to filter our internet experience.
Thank you enforced filters for teaching us how to have a free internet experience.
Thank you to all the fbk junkies, abusers, gross marketers, stalkers, friend adding fiends, status quo obsessives, VIP chase'ers, "I will make my most personal problems public talk for my fbk tribe" drama queens, my life is great" illusion creators, hardcore conspiracy cooks, relentless petition activists, relentless quote'ers, New Age freaks, "I wanna tell you what I do every moment" post'ers, compulsive like'ers, compulsive hate'ers, attention whores and all the wonderful nemesis' that we all have become at times but that we all love to hate.
Thank you ALL for making this whole facebook period of our history such a truly enjoyable ride through human nature and consciousness!
I for one, gladly joined in and participate still, as this is by far the most incredible exercise in collective cyber living we have ever performed as a race.
But here's the catch. History shows. Be part of the period, identify with the period if you will but;
Use the process. Analyze the process. Question the process. Discard the process. Reinvent the process and you are truly creating history not merely being the stats and specs for it's generic summaries.
That said, I am truly and excitedly looking forward to the reinvention on social media, "by the people, for the people" as good ol' Abbie was proposing. (pun intended)
Meanwhile I will Post and Like and Comment and Share in fbk and outside until we all figure our where this whole thing is going to. Cause heck, this is waaaay to much fun and waaaay to educational not be fully part of.
So I'm merely contemplating that maybe it's time to stop acting like junkies that want to hide their addiction, or like righteous conservatives that harshly judge those junkies.
Maybe it's time to take a broader look at a cultural reality that represents all of us, junkies, judges and the impartial. A reality in which facebook was essential, superfluous, positive, damaging, creative, dumb'ing, organized, chaotic, inspirational, disgusting and absolutely inevitable.
And seen as an inevitable cultural expression of the whole globe, what purpose is there in either aggressively blaming it, blindly defending it or ostentatiously ignoring it?
How about we see it for what it is? How about we asses the advantages of its existence as a medium, draw an informed conclusion of its shortcomings and proceed in upgrading, adapting and why not replacing it according to our present needs?
After all Zuckerberg was a geek that invented a genius way to pick up girls... not even 10 years later politicians give Likes to Anonymous messages and Bjork gets 10.000 comments on a post that she "has the flu"...
What if the new reason for the new media we the people create, could be a little more broad than "broads"? (no pun intended for Zuckerberg's lady targets)
I mean, just saying, what if the world's incredible community if Internet creators draws its creative sword and delivers us all from the battle field of social network compromise?
And if any of you out there are already on the mission, first of all THANK YOU and do please let us know how we can help, cause heck, we sure have learned we can do more than press Like and Attend....
Meanwhile, you bet I'm posting this on fbk...
see you at Home ;)